weLcOmE tO maH LifE

how can i let go when my heart says hold on?

how can i say goodbye when all i want to say is hello?

how can i forget when i can’t stop thinking of you?

how can i fall out of love when i’m about to say i love you?

how can i live alone when i’m used to have you?

how can i see clearly when my illusions block my way?

how do i say goodbye to someone i never had?

why do tears fall for someone who was never mine?

how come it’s hard to tell someone that you love them,then later on realize they’re gone…

how can you see that i’ve been inlove with you since i first looked into your eyes?? (perhaps the better question is…how can you not care?!)

how can you run,when you have no place to hide?

how can you survive,when you have no food to eat and no one to love?

how do you heal a broken heart?i have no idea where to start,everything i do just reminds me of you..

how empty of me to be so full of you,until all i know is the sound of your voice and your sweet caress,you have made me..

how do you teach your heart,if it’s a crime to fall in love again??

…i am broken…

…beautifully broken… =’(

candy mag presents…

we’re now in the month of march…few days from now graduation na…a journey of mine will end and as it ends a new one will start…sobrang mamimiss ko ang class ko ngaung 4th year..ultimate pasaway ba naman eh..sobrang saya..sobrang bonded kami with each other,babae man o lalaki..ang lalakas din namin mangtrip…hai..grabe…sa sobrang dami  naming kalokohan nakilala kami sa buong ssi!hehe…sa class namin lahat namdun na wala ka nang hahanapin pang iba …all around kami eh…!pwdeng pangdrama pwde ding pangcomedy…lahat na ng kalokohan cge…pero ibang usapan na pagdating sa academics…tamad nga kami magaral pero pagexams na we make sure na hindi kami babagsak…hai..days are fast approaching…ilang araw nlng graduation na… kakatpos lng ng finals,ang last final exam na ittake namin sa high school life namin…hai…iv-e jefferson..walang limutan ha…sulitin na natin ang last days natin sa ssi…kasi for sure college life,busy life…hai..goodluck s ating lahat!! =)

When you’re dreaming with a broken heart
The waking up is the hardest part
You roll outta bed and down on your knees
And for the moment you can hardly breathe
Wondering was he really here?
Is he standing in my room?
No he’s not,
’cause he’s gone, gone, gone, gone, gone….

When you’re dreaming with a broken heart
The giving up is the hardest part
He takes you in with your crying eyes
Then all at once you have to say goodbye
Wondering could you stay my love?
Will you wake up by my side?
No he can’t,
’cause he’s gone, gone,
gone, gone, gone….

Now do i have to fall asleep
with roses in my hand
Do i have to fall asleep
with roses in my hand?
Baby won’t you get them if i did?
No you won’t,
’cause you’re gone,
gone, gone, gone, gone….

When you’re dreaming with a broken heart
The waking up is the hardest part…

i looked at my back coz i thought i saw you

i listened eagerly coz i thought i heard you

but no special person is around

this made me realize you’re gone…

you leave me here all alone with nothing

i don’t know how to start all over again

i don’t know if i can wake up again

i’m back to zero with nothing else with me but me alone

i cry in the middle of the night

thinkin’ of you…

wonderin’ if you’re ok…

longin’ for your sweet caress…

dreamin’ when will you be mine…

askin’ will you be mine again?

now i am here without you…

i feel like i am dying

alone in my room,crying,dreaming…

you can’t do anything now…

cause you left me,beautifully broken…!!

october 20, 2006…team building @ bluroze farm,lipa city…the most awaited..sabi nila…5:30 am ang assembly time sa school kasi 6am ang departure…i arrive between 5-5:30,akala ko ako plng tao…madami na pala..hindi halatang excited…ayon…pagpasok namin biglang cnabi na 5:45am na ang departure namin,naku kabado kami kasi wala pa ung iba,hindi pa kami kumpleto…nasa bus na kami kulang pa rin kami..later on ayan na..whew!kumpleto na…when we arrive at lipa…grabeh..binilad agad kmi sa initan pero ok lng..hehe..few minutes we start with the activities as what is planned…so aun..una naming ginawa ung "log walk" at may remembrance ako dun ha,dalawang pasa sa magkabilang balikat ko,ang bigat nun log!after that we went sa "island hopping" kinda boring but a challenging one..next is the "maze" pagpasok sa maze,whoohoo,wala nang isip isip,takbo lng ng takbo,pangalawa kami sa pinakamabilis na nakatapos ng maze,favorite part ko dun,ung dumaan kami sa hanging bridge na halos mamatay na kami sa kaba,dahil sa pangaasar ng mga lalaki,sukat akalain mo ba naman istock kami sa gitna ng bridge at talun-talunan ung bridge..!last ung "uranium transfer" hehe ang kulit…ang saya saya…!after that lunch time na,aba at nagkaroon pa kami ng buddy q ng trabaho,hehe "isoli ang styroplate..!" oh diba?!hehe…after taking up our meal a lot of activities followed up hehe,and sobrang nakakapagod at masaya lahat…hehe mantakin mo war games puro lalaki kalaro ko..hehe…joke…grabeh..ang saya talaga..tapos ung dinner namin,ah d best eh!sa dahon ng saging ka kakain tapos ung pagkain nilamas lamas ng lahat..haha..!nagenjoy talaga ako,lalo na ung bonfire presentation ang tagal namin grabe almost 5hours..hehe ang saya saya at lumindol noh,nagpapanic na sila ako nakaupo lng tumingin sa taas kasi baka mabagsakan ako ng buko..hehe..safe naman ako sa place ko kaya di na ako umalis,un nga lang feeling ko mabibiyak ung inuupuan ko..hehe..un nga lang mejo di na ako masaya ng mga time na un kasi nagkalat kami nun presentation tapos inaapoy pa ako sa lagnat…grabeh…after bonfire presentation kumain kami nagpainit at ako uminom ng gamot at nagpahinga…grabeh sobrang lamig dun,imagine nakashirt na ako,nakasweater,tapos jacket at kumot at pants giniginaw pa ako..hai…at may instant alarm clock ako dun ha,biruin mong lindol ang gumising sa akin…hai..at nung umagang un ang sama sama na talaga ng pakiramdam ko,pero pinilit ko tapusin ung activity… til kaninang umaga nilalagnat pa rin ako..huhu..pero ok lng…saya naman eh…grabeh..nakakabitin ung team building ang saya saya talaga kahit sobrang sakit ng katawan ko daig ko pa naglaro ng taekwondo..ang saya talaga….now i know kung bakit un ang kwentong walang kamatayan para sa mga alumni… =)

yesterday we had our competition at glorietta..it’s the 2006 samsung national best of the best taekwondo championships.. whew…grabe…ang saya saya…one week lng practice namin para sa taekwon chejo,nagsecond place pa kami…ang galing noh..?!what more pa kaya kung one month..hehe..well ang hilig talaga namin sa rush..hai..nweiz…the competition is composed of taekwondo movements mixed up with some aerobics,gymnastics and some dance moves and even kyukpa(breaking of wood boards) with a background music… hehe and saya saya nabasag namin lahat ng wood boards.. 

aleksa = spinning turning long kick

elisa = bicycle axe kick

erika = jumping turning roundhouse kick

joana = turning side kick

wee… sulit naman pala ung pagsstay namin sa gym til 10pm para sa practice, we’ve bagged silver medals(each member was given a medal) + sunbolt sports drink gift pack + towels from peak martial arts and cash priza of 10,000.00 from the sponsors…oh diba.. ang saya saya…

rankings:

1st = team powerflex (as usual,mga veteran)

2nd = team montea in black o m.i.b (newbies)

3rd = miriam college (newbies)

ang sarap talaga maglaro sa best of the best..the best talaga! whew..hehe…

haha…mister leo oracion visit our school yesterday and give a short talk regarding how to take care our environments…we are very lucky to have him…sabi nga niya "kung gaano kalamig sa mt. everest,kabaligtaran noon,ganoon kainit ang pagwelcome niyo sa akin.." he is very happy yesterday…and i’ve learned a lot from him…he is very talented and i do admire him for that…they’ve experienced a lot as they go on with their journey towards to the peak of the everest,but they are able to survive because of their determination,faith and beliving…opportunities like this,we must grab it,yes it always passes by,pero hindi lang ikaw ang tao sa mundo..so once you’ve let go of it,sorry to say but you have to say goodbye…and as what he said…we must study very hard for us to have a good job so that we can be able to reach the Mt. Everest of our Lives…

whew…grabeh…nakakapagod sobra kahapon ptc initiation..imagine umpisa pa lang puro punishment na natanggap namin…lalo na nung official na nagstart ang initiation buti na lang di masyadong malala mga pinagawa sa ‘kin ng senior ko…eto lang naman pinagawa sa ‘kin:

* pinagpayong

* pinagpaypay

* pinagmasahe

* pinagswimming sa tubig na sobrang dumi,tapos pinagulong sa ewan ko kung anong kulay pula un,parang alugbati eh…

* pinagulong sa damuhan

* pinagsayaw ng otso-otso sa harap ng parents at gitna ng oval…

* binaril kunwari at pinaarteng nangisay

at eto naman ang pinagawa smin ng mga coach:

* 100 rounds jogging sa track ang field oval sa katirikan ng araw

* 2 rounds sprint after ng jogging sa oval

* sumipa, at tumakbo habang isinisigaw ang "i love PTC"

at final test,sparring lang naman sa mga seniors pinilahan lang naman ako ng mga anim o pitong tao lang naman,ung tipong tag team ba..imagine 6-7 vs 1…ang tibay ko noh??!well akala niyo lang yan,iyak nga ako after ng initiation,well 2 reasons kung bakit ako umiyak,una dahil ang sakit sakit talaga at pangalawa dahil sa wakas tapos ng ang initiation at PTC na ako!

grabeh isip-isip ko gusto ko nang magquit,pero eto na eh nandito na ako…tapusin ko na..grabe sobra…natosta ung talampakan namin dahil sa jogging at sprint,kasi xempre di naman patag ung oval parang spalto kaya un! tapos tanghaling tapat pa,parang sa baga tuloy kami tumatakbo…tapos ang dungis dungis pa namin,at guess what..ung dobuk kong color white after the initiation color brown na cya! ganoon ako kadungis kahapon…!hay ok lng..at least tapos na..!at batch 9 na ako ng PTC (philippint taekwondo contingent) yahoo…!saya-saya…!

aug 9 (wednesday)

*hehe…mukhang napapamahal na ako sa programming ah..akalain mong naperfect ko ung exam knina…oh san ka pa..?? 30/30…! oh..! walang aral aral..basta kung ano natira sa utak ko un na un..akalain mong lahat natira…hehe..nagsisimula na tuloy magulo utak ko kung architechture ba o comsci o i.t….hehe…!! pero hindi archi pa rin ako…!!!hehe…kaninang drafting katabi ko si p-cube…eh practical test namin..aba inookray ang gawa ko…at di lng gawa ko pati gawa ng iba naming classmate,kaya pala ganoon eh dahil tinatamad gumawa kaya nangungulit…eh un…xempre ako gustong gusto un..architechture un eh…sabi nya "buti di ka tinatamad" sbi ko hindi naman,gusto ko naman eh,ito kukunin ko eh…aun tas nakikipagkulitan cya kay tina…mei sinabi cya,eh sa sobrang pagmamadali ko para makapagpasa ng practical on time napa-oo ako sa kanya…hehe…sbi nia pla "anjan naman si elisa,gagawa ako nian" hehe eh di ko naintindihan maxado kaya nun tinanong nya ako napa-oo tuloy ako..hehe..pero di ko rin naman xa ginawa eh..hehe..saya naman niya kung ganoon… =p

aug 8 (tuesday)

*back to school ako..hehe "oh you’re here" pare-parehong expression nung nakita nila ako sa campus..if i know namiss nila ako dahil walang maingay sa room…!haha…at sa kasamaang palad hindi pa rin ako makapagingay dahil sa tonsil ko..ang sakit-sakit pa rin nya… =( at inaasar pa ako ng adviser ko..bakit daw ang tahimik ko..! amf! shop namin pala ngayon..hehe..favorite subj..hihi…nagawa kmi ng project plan,tinawag ako ng anak ko sbi "nay enge paper" narinig ni sir arnel…aun ayaw na ako tantanan ng pangaasar…hehe…hay naku…ang buhay nga naman…hehe…ang kulit din ng araw na toh..!hehe tanong nyo sa anak at asawa ko kung bakit…!!! haha pamilya sabog..! whoohoo..!

aug 7 (monday)

*waahh..still i am not feeling well,and i have to stay at home and rest…oh my..nakakatamad sa house walang magawa,unlike sa school every minute maraming pwedeng gawin…buti na lang di pumasok ung s.s. ko,tinapos daw nya kasi thesis nya.. =) txt txt kmi..hehe…at least kahit paano nalibang ko sarili ko…may kakulitan kasi un,hehe..nakakatuwa…kea lng nagtampo skin anak ko..hehe di kasi ako pumasok sa school la daw cya nanay..hihi..saya ng araw kong toh kahit kulang-kulang..hehe…ah basta ang saya..i’ll never foget this: 080706…!!!bkit kamo..??akin nlng un..!! =p

aug 6 (sunday)

*our game is scheduled today..too bad i cannot play nor even support the team because of my condition…all that i can give is my prayers for them…i just hope they’ll win…many of my teammates we’re asking "san ka na..??ano ba nangyari sau..??" and i explain to them everything then they replied "bakit naman ngayon pa…??"..my team doesn’t have level4..cause i am their player for level4…and it’s a team competition..i wish them luck and do their best for this game..please suppot our team… how i wish i was there… =(

aug 5 (saturday)

*may demo dapat kami sa manila today…sa sobrang sama ng pakiramdam ko i didn’t make it…sbi ng instructor ko,ok lng,pahinga nlng daw ako para sa game ko sa sunday and kumain ng marami,kasi kilala na ako ng instructor ko,kapag may sakit walang panlasa at walang gana kumain tapos minsan sinusuka ung kinakain…bait naman ako,sumunod naman ako…maghapon ako sa kwarto walang ibang ginawa kundi matulog at kumain…bandang hapon medyo sumakit dibdib ko,medyo nahirapan ako huminga…itinulog ko na lang..nagising ako mga 5pm na…kumain ako…tapos habang nakain ako parang ang sakit lumunok,and medyo hirap na ako magsalita…bandang mga 7:30,sabi ko dad ang sakit sakit na ng lalamunan ko…and then un..soon we’ve found out na may infection tonsil ko… =( it’s hard..it’s really hard..and i can’t make it tomorow for my game… =( it really hurts..underobservation din ako for one week,if nothing changes then i need to be confined sa hospital… =( oh my..why am i suffering this…?? =’(